


Cracking a Crib

by unwillingadventurer



Category: Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Genre: Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 08:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14445333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwillingadventurer/pseuds/unwillingadventurer
Summary: During a burglary, Raffles and Bunny accidentally enter through a nursery window and find a little baby inside.





	Cracking a Crib

It was with growing regularity that Raffles and I were cracking cribs by the score and gathering the riches like greedy pirates hoarding their booty. We had been successful in our endeavours too, barely a snag in our criminal spree; but I admit I was growing wearisome of the amount of burglaries we had committed and felt a break was needed to not only refresh us but to help me overcome my fears that our winning streak could only last so long.

Raffles insisted there was one more job he wanted to do before we had earned our long break and so I obliged him begrudgingly. I didn’t know what the job was or where the house was located, much less who the target would be but as usual with Raffles he did not need me to know, only to turn up and assist him when the time arose. 

We climbed up the side of the chosen house one chilly evening in November, ascending up the rope ladder and straight into a window that was carelessly but fortunately left unlocked at the top. We slipped in quietly so not to rouse anyone and Raffles, followed by myself, stepped further into the semi-dark room which was lit by a dim gas lantern. 

“Raffles, the light’s been left on,” I whispered, attempting to draw his attention to it but he was looking behind me, over my shoulder.

“Keep quiet, it’s the wrong room,” he said turning me around to focus on the sleeping woman in the chair in the corner. “Blasted thing. The strong room must be the next window.”

I asked what we were going to do to which he suggested we carry on through the house, trying to ignore the poor woman dreaming away with no idea two burglars had entered the room beside her. I sensed that Raffles felt a thrill of excitement that our plans had not run smoothly and it would give him the chance to improvise. I on the other hand was less than enthusiastic.

It was at that moment we heard a noise, a stirring as though someone was waking up. “What was that?” I said, my knees trembling at the thought of someone coming into the room. We turned our attentions first to the woman asleep on the chair. She remained motionless, snoring lightly and seemingly dead to the world.

We next turned to look in the opposite direction and stared transfixed at the sight of a large cot with a little baby bundled up inside it, murmuring slightly as it rolled about in its covers. Raffles grabbed my arm as we stood over it, peering down at the little innocent infant as it gazed up at us with wide-eyed wonder. 

Raffles drummed his fingers over the top of the cot. “When I said I wanted to crack a crib this wasn’t quite what I had in mind.”

“It’s a baby, A.J!” I whispered. “A little baby.”

“Thank you, Bunny, until your confirmation I wasn’t entirely sure.”

“No need for that tone, Raffles, I was simply saying.”

Raffles began to pace quietly back and forth around the cot whilst I kept a close eye on the sleeping nanny. “Well that’s torn it,” he said.

“Yes, we can’t possibly burgle them now.”

Raffles stopped dead still and placed his face an inch from my own. “Why not?”

“It’s a baby, A.J!”

“Other people we’ve stolen from also have babies.”

I rolled my eyes. “But not in the room. It’s so innocent, so sweet,” I said, looking down at the most adorable face I’d ever seen (aside from Raffles) as it gurgled away, shuffling and wriggling. It then started to let out a few light wails. I felt my heart stop for a split second. The baby was going to cry and give us away! Its nanny was going to wake up any moment and we’d be most certainly caught!

“Bunny, for goodness sake, turn it off!” I heard Raffles say.

“Raffles, it’s a baby, not a light switch. How do you propose I do it?” I leaned over the crib and scooped the baby gently into my arms, trying to bounce it and hush it carefully, desperately trying not to prompt more tears. “There, there, little one, Bunny’s got you.”

“We’ll have to take it with us,” Raffles said with urgency, “or everyone will hear.”

I was so shocked that I nearly dropped the baby to the floor. “You mean steal the baby too?” 

He slapped my arm. “Of course not, you ass! I meant take it into the strong room with us and then bring it back when we’ve finished. Hopefully it’ll stop making noises by then.”

“I think it’s a girl, Raffles, there’s a pretty little bow on her head.”

He gave me a frosty glare and I fell silent as we made our way into the room we were supposed to break into, the strong room with the safe and no doubt many jewels tucked away inside. Raffles closed the door gently behind us and then he was at the safe almost immediately, indicating that I should remain by the door with the baby. Raffles turned on the gas lamp a little before he got to work.

I usually watched Raffles at work but this time my eyes were firmly on the little girl. She seemed quite content to let me hold her at first and the wails had subsided thank goodness but then she began to wriggle and kick her legs out in the most infuriating fashion. I’d normally have found it rather sweet, I was very fond of children, but at that moment the last thing I needed was the child to become fidgety. I sat down on the floor and set her down beside me, gently making soothing cooing noises in her direction. She was at that age where she could crawl a little and hoist herself upwards so I had to watch her like a hawk.

“Now who’s a pretty little thing?” I said to her as she crawled beside me.

“Why thank you, my dear Bunny.”

I jumped back in surprise. I hadn’t realised Raffles had finished already and was kneeling beside me with quite the widest smile painted on his face. He laughed quietly, finding himself so amusing. 

“Raffles! You nearly gave me a heart attack! You’re finished already?”

“Oh, it was so simple, Bunny, almost takes the sport out of it. Still the boodle is rather worth it.”

He held out the palm of his hand to reveal a string of pearls, a ruby necklace, and a couple of diamond rings. I gazed over them, they were splendid. He placed them into his breast pocket and then looked at the baby.

“You know, Bunny, you didn’t need to start playtime.”

“I know that! She was getting wriggly and agitated.”

Raffles scratched his chin. “Ah. Well, is she alright to pick up now, so we can leave?”

“I think she’s relaxed now.” I picked her up and then handed her to Raffles. “Your turn.”

He looked at me like I had gone stark raving mad and sighed as he attempted to hold the baby correctly before ushering me after him into the nursery. We peered around the door to where the nanny was still fast asleep and I did wonder for a moment whether she was a very good nanny being that she’d not woken once since we’d arrived but I didn’t really have time to ponder the thought and the fact that her tremendously deep sleep was to our advantage. Raffles was placing the little girl back into the cot, attempting to lower her in silence and as delicately as possible. When he’d successfully placed her down, he wrapped her gently in the cover and I joined them for a moment, both of us peering over together like proud parents.

“What a precious thing she is,” I said as we watched her little face broaden with a large smile. She giggled lightly and then as she rolled over we glimpsed a sparkle from under her arm. 

“By Jove!” Raffles said. “The diamond ring! How on earth did it get hold of it?”

I laughed. “She’s a she, Raffles, and perhaps she pinched it.” I chuckled.

He picked up the ring and placed it in his collection. “She’d make quite an accomplice, wouldn’t she Bunny? I could exchange one baby face for another. She’s even cuter than you, my dear fellow.”

“Don’t joke Raffles, we’ve got to get out of here!”

And with that we were out of the window in a shot, past the sleeping nanny and onto the ledge. It was at that moment that the baby began to cry, leaning up and reaching out as though towards us. I froze to the spot, terrified of being noticed but Raffles shoved me onto the rope ladder and we managed to make our descent just before I heard the sound of the nanny’s soothing voice to the infant. We’d made it!

As we emerged onto the main road and through the park we both took a big sigh of relief. We’d done it even if it hadn’t been as clear-cut as first imagined.

Raffles laughed. “I didn’t realise you were so good with little children, Bunny.”

I blushed. “I’m not really, but I am fond of them.”

“Not getting broody are you, Bunny?”

“Of course not!” I shook him away. “But you have to admit she was a precious little thing.”

Raffles nodded. “She was rather endearing, I’ll give you that. And she was the perfect witness. Not only did she not cry out to alert anyone but she can’t give our descriptions to the inspector.”

I laughed, imagining her picking us out in a line-up. Raffles linked his arm through mine as we made our way back to the Albany and to much needed refreshment. 

…

The very next morning we were taking a stroll when we passed a lady with a perambulator on route. I was drawn to look at the baby laying all bundled up inside and so I smiled at the lady and bent down to take a peek. “A lovely little thing,” I said. 

The woman smiled and thanked me but as I looked closer I nudged Raffles in the ribs, hoping he had noticed that it was the exact same baby we had encountered the night before! We waved goodbye and I turned to Raffles to see if he had drawn the same conclusion. 

“Good gracious, A.J, that was the same girl.”

“What girl?”

“Our baby accomplice of course.”

He laughed, not believing me. “All babies look alike, Bunny, you’re quite imagining things.”

“I most certainly am not!”

He didn’t believe me and I don’t think he ever would.


End file.
